I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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