so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
