He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
