it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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