she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
