I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
