hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
