well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
