I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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