That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
