Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
