He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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