He felt like a one man threesome
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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