508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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