508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Randomize
