dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
They have beer where we have blood.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
