I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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