When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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