I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
