First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
