There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
