Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
