It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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