i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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