you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
