SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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