actually, I'm a sock model
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
