you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
