piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
