what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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