Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
