eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
