2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
