And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
