You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
