belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
