Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so explain again why im purple
no
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
