I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
