The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
