yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
