OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it's great music for shaving your balls
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
