taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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