In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My vagina just recognized that song.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
