youre lurking in front of me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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