id be glad to
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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