He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
