Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
