The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
