Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize