She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize