We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
