Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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