I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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