Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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