What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
