The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
