when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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