Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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