took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
do nipples grow back?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
