hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Two words: nipple clamps
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