The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
